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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  May 8, 2024 7:00pm-8:00pm PDT

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>> they send forests to show down with billy the kid and the regulators. his paucity of corrupt the law men and hired guns pointed the regulators in the house dylan's men set their set fire to the house that's all the time we have left to see thank you for making show possible in being with us never missed an episode of hannity and let not your heart the troubled greg gutfeld is standing by with a great show to put a smile on your face thank you for being with us have a good night. >> ♪ ♪
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>> greg: yes sunday hello. happy wednesday everybody. let's get to the jokes. presidential candidate rfk claims aware mate part part of his brain a while back leading to memory problem's. when reached for comment he was just trying to level the playing field something biden will never have to worry about a brain. according to stormy daniels she spanked trump with a forbes magazine at a hotel rendezvous steve forbes claims that counts
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is him having sects. forbes denied it saying it's a rumor but we are getting it straight from the horses mouth in a related story trump has been holding up shoe for good luck from stormy. due to a rise in youth crime that makers of the swiss army knife have a version without a blade a swiss army knife with vote on knife so now we are transitioning knives. what is it without a knife you are left with tweezers and nail file a toothpick when the name it swiss army bottom of the handbag you are called swiss
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army knife, knife is in the name if you have the name of the thing in the title you get rid of it what's next swiss cheese you gonna sell us the holes. the launch of the boeing star liner spacecraft was rubbed they want to focus on what they do best killing whistleblowers. earth wind and fire member philip bailey is 73 he wants to change the name of the band to earth wind and fire and balance of nature rhonda santos banning lab groan meet now where will jesse vacation. after weird interactions of a
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columnist band from the bmb games surprising many as they expected it him to be punished. thank you finally would be goldberg says she's done with relationships all her 6 is strictly hit-and-run unless the other guy sees her first then it's just run. monolog now trump notches a win as libs sit and spin. they postponed the classified records trial indefinitely supposed to start later this month but like my vacation plans with kristi noem that ain't happening. you're a member of the case the sham trial from the classified record investigation cooked up by jack smith the trial started may 20th with interconnected
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pretrial issues they put the whole thing on hold imploding faster than my butt implants did when scuba diving. >> it would happen. >> it would. >> greg: her instincts why you're correct it comes just days after their own prosecutors admitted the evidence was rearranged after the raid on mar-a-lago in august 2022. saying there are some boxes where the order within the box is not within the same as the associated span. they'd knowledge it's inconsistent with what they previously understood and represented to the court. that's a lot of words for saying we. [ bleeps ] up. even the former obama tourney general said the whole process has not been on the up and up
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coming from a democrat who looks like howard sprague. here's a revelation them to miss crying name seemed photo of the raid. think about it. they admitted as much in a recent court filing remember it's the picture of the liberal media shoved down our throat with that laid out neatly on a beautiful expensive marketing with documents label top-secret but this classification level showing how evil and conniving bill godzilla was which -- was such top-secret materials the only thing is papers label top-secret recovery sheets simply slapped on there for the photo on. top-secret cover sheets what is this get smart here guys we don't want people to read this better put top-secret on it. don't peep awesome toy inside on
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christmas gifts. has they can demonstrate to deceive to public as well as the court the photo was a stunt and 1 to add some more field to the dumpster fire. through more stage than a kilometer book signing. once again it's biden lying to imprison his chief rival because if you can't beat them put them behind bars. no following the new york times as it is a picture of top-secret folders at mar-a-lago and how it came about. 1 of the dozens of left-wing headlines touting authenticity about a photo as legitimate as the pills i ordered from canada. actually got shorter.
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i didn't go to law school but i know evidence tampering when i see it it's how i framed oj. >> about damn time. >> greg: of course the trump -dependent media is milking over the trials indefinite delay. >> it is crazy, crazy until real that went with her mother to take a kid to court as a lawyer saying would've come up with a better ruling than that it's a bizarre little ill-equipped story nearly ill-equipped or just doesn't care what the world thinks over right now everything she's doing she's doing to help donald trump. god tribbett some honesty at the end he's not mad over the alleged tampering mad they might be helped by the ruling.
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normal person would be outraged the government might be for flaming the average citizen but the outrages this is a make it justice. piece of advice when you root for the law to get away with bad things you might be the bad guy. morning joe has become the bonnie and clyde of insufferable dip. [ bleeps ] soap while the florida trial is put on ice the hush money trial in new york took it scheduled weekly break today so what are all the players up to? stormy daniels took the day off to hit the beach. >> that's a beautiful paid horror you just a smirk -- best merged. >> greg: here's what the judges doing. meanwhile here's trump.
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seed consumes nothing can get orange godzilla down every felony every trumped up charge meanwhile biden hidden in a crate by the ark of the covenant is starting to unravel like the plot of a stormy daniels movie why would there be 4 pizza delivery guys. you notice a trend here the dullest laptop was fake this photo was but little displaying on the fines was fake but that's real they told us inflation was rate but fake but the job numbers are real were supposed to be way too dumb to notice maybe if your morning joe
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tonight's guests. 1 guest we couldn't passover ben shapiro it looks like he spends a lot of time in police lineups comedian jim florentine her exes say she is the 1 who got away with there is silverware. kat timpf and his crux or actual crocodiles. former nwa world champion tyrus welcome to the show people forget that like you actually are a lawyer like the only area while lease excess will podcast or when did you graduate from
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law school? >> 2003. you beat me by a couple years i didn't go to law school feeding get that joke what you think of the developments in terms of the delayed case and was going on with stormy daniels. >> at the delayed case haven't seen them like this since the case was. the case is a mess they afflict hash out classified materials but they can see what anybody is allowed to see so the delay make sense usually the defendant so when it turns her he's not in fact demanding speech rows not as much a concern from the court donald trump wants is pushed beyond the election he's had a great night in court despite the fact that she was testifying about all sorts of unpleasant things. >> greg: nothing from that for me was that interesting separate
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bedrooms who doesn't do that. >> maybe that's why my marriage didn't work. first while the government with the document the basically used props if you think about it that's like a comedian where nobody lassie resorts to props to get less basically the head of the fbi's carrot top. >> i like carrot top but they have to use props that so bad they are that the fake a photo the old-fashioned way. like i don't understand a thing that says top-secret do you put their that would just make everybody look at it. >> greg: you answered your own question there. it's made-for-tv the whole thing is made-for-tv they aren't interested in anything actual they wanted everybody to see a picture of this is all the
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evidence we have dislike the court thing isn't about the evidence we aren't still sure what he's being tried by i don't pass the bar but i'm not showing up until i know what i'm being charged with i don't need surprises that's what's going on now it's all for what the name convicted felon all these investigations are for them media. the people need to see this it's all for the media because they are gonna win on the debate stand they won't be a debate because why would the president best march the name of him by doing what the bid convicted felon it's all the media the only problem is somebody else to start riding the script for joe scarborough he is horrible at his job so bad.
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it's like a 12-year-old white is that pop up in your mind first there's other questions we should ask and kat what you gain from this. like the tiny put private on your dream journal and i read anyway. >> he did when serialized you weren't in at your devastated this actually taught me something police reminded me of something i've always known instilled in me from a young age which is never lit the fbi come between and the lot ones you love 1 other person was raised a similar way. it's more than what's just going on in court it's what's going on in the country where things like this photo turn people apart we're feet look at this could
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you still vote this way and support this person the other person becomes irredeemable to people are fighting real-life over bureaucracy and narratives whether it's this would happen for years during covid-19 would like to see everybody wake up and realize this is the problem at the least we shouldn't let it tear us all apart. >> greg: that's a great way to end this segment very astute up next scouts awoke ploy to erase the word boy
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they'd rather name a team after socks! to be fair, we're not very athletic.
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and the woken stop stop pouting they took the boy out of scouting after 114 years the boy
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scouts of america announced a name change in an effort to emphasize inclusion now they are scouting america which sounds like something al qaeda would be doing the organization claims the name change would reflect an ongoing commitment to welcome every youth and family in america to experience the benefits of scouting and further prove commitment to inclusivity so now scouts earn merit badges and hairstyling for drag queens improper pronoun etiquette this move didn't come out of nowhere the pandemic lockdowns it the boy scouts like joy behar's assets is lawyer. if there's anything to help kids during that time it would've been a regular outdoor activity plus a nice diversion from all the pain and suffering mainly interviews between chris and andrew cuomo over the years i
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guess it should have been a hint but why is this a solution to punish boys even more lasting you want to hear before puberty is here are a bunch of girls that are taller than you still is. boy scouts already opened up to living in girls a few years back even though they are ready had their own scouting program when everything is the fall of the patriarchy young men need to beat out the worst thing you can be as a young man. gone are the days when we wanted boys to be trustworthy clean and reverent that we've replaced solid virtues with fake virtues created by fake people such as diversity inclusion in equity if there is a badge for that it would probably look like this.
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you were a boy scout so i would go to you first. how do you respond to the change? >> it's never the cover of the milk it's the spoiled milk in it. if you're going to make a change make it tougher before -- tougher for pedophiles to be scoutmasters that would be great there be my first line of business. i was in troop 316 i still remember my scoutmaster mr cruz we did camping and outdoor activities teaching you how to survive be questions under no that would've happened with girls present because you're going to see the girls want to impress the girls were so afraid of raising men in this country like the boy scouts was a good tool because what was it useful
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forgot young men patriotic got them prepared that maybe they might have to make that sacrifice 1 day joining the military defending this country some old lady crossing the street you help doing the right thing. over the last i think. think of at 6000 girls in the last 10 years if it's a situation where there isn't a girl scouts club in the area and they join that's fine but you don't need to take the name boy scouts of america is a girl scouts of america boy scouts of america you want to call them the scouts fine that doesn't change the problem it's like to can the catholic church and changing at the church not taking care of the prom with the priest so keep the name the clean it up. >> greg: was your scoutmasters named tom? >> tim. >> greg: kat you... >> you aren't afraid of raising men this country.
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>> greg: how long were you a gilbert girl scout creek. >> i was in juniors i have worked today. it's not positive having your chest be the same size it was when you were 10 years old but it's great for your t-shirt collection. that's part of the reason we need to get a new apartment were running out of space for my t-shirts. i was a girl scout i loved it i also maybe would've wanted to join the boy scouts of a kid. >> you would a completely polluted. >> absolutely. to be a problem. >> yeah, but i was also prone for the girl scouts right. i couldn't agree more people are outraged about this there a bigger problem is in the boy scouts they think your shirt of the don't let the pedophiles beast scoutmasters that should be a teacher.
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>> greg: jim you dressed like a scoutmaster he looked like you are about to go in the woods and barry somebody who owes you money. >> asked to do community service somehow. >> 1 of those pop-up characters and guests who. >> greg: >> i do. girls a different and where we doing this. how about we just get really girl scouts i got boxes of girl scouts for the last 5 years. >> greg: they make you fat. they make you fat and while mo spoke my eye out there.
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you justify getting fat because they are girl scout cookies. >> and i need to support them. we know you're changing him because of sexual misconduct a thousand kids of come forward. just change the name that we don't touch it boy scouts of america. >> ben you look like a boy scout what you make of the change. >> as a person who hit puberty very recently. the thing that was amazing about this the ceo whatever they call themselves now it sounds like a service where you have a weirdo who comes up to units like gears a card where you can get a headshot later in any case the ceo said it's about authenticity so people can be their authentic selves. the entire design a boy scouts was to teach you not to be your authentic self because you know who sucks authentic eu for virtually everyone i have an 11-month-old he's authentic and
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drools and. [ bleeps ] like babies do and the whole purpose of having institutions like the boy scouts is to turn you into virtue and school skill sets what you do stare at each other with bedazzled purses or what? >> i like bedazzled does that make me less of a man. >> there's other issues there but no that wouldn't be the 1 issue that put you over but dazzle all day. >> i'm going to bedazzle my gun. i don't even know what that would mean. maybe the audience will start to turn on me. wouldn't be the first time or the last. up next a claim so stunning maxime theatre red hats are comingot w. but instead remade over and over... into the things that keep our food fresher, our families safer, and our planet cleaner. to help us get there, america's plastic makers are investing billions of dollars
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>> ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> greg: she's got a bunch in
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her panties put stoking fears of vigilantes yes the chills over folks in the hills are video the day comes from msnbc where maxime waters accused from supporters of training in the shadows for a violent attack if he loses. watch. >> i'm going to ask the justice department. going asked the president to tell us what they are going to do to protect this country against violence if he loses want to know about those right-wing organizations he's connected with who are training up in the hills somewhere targeting what communities they are going to attack we need to know now given east telling us there's going to be violence if he loses we need to know his plan. [ cheers and applause ]
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he has a lot of history fighting imaginary racist. jim are you upset she told everybody where you hide out. >> it's amazing she's talking about hills trump lives in florida are there hills in florida like space mountain in disney world. like she's 85 she's old maybe pastor bedtime 7:00 but rambo fell asleep she thought she was watching the news body would just come down and fight everybody right. >> greg: the first 1 is the best. >> yep. >> greg: never recaptured the magic. what is it with people named the waters in bad hair. >> is that why we did this segment. >> greg: the holes segment is built around me insulting jesse watters. >> as most are.
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>> what led you to say that because i have heard nothing about this. about people in the hills. the big lake 40 cities i've never heard a murmur of people in the hills let alone people in the hills training for a national takeover just so calmly say something like that is a phone supposed to know what she's talking about. >> anything she's thinking of the reality show the hills. limited influence in the wake of it nothing people been able to leverage that spinach is looking for violent lytic mobs it's in her own party is that why she saying it? >> she's leaving it. were both from la you remember during the riots she called it
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the lad out raising jews time people at gas stations confront people you don't like there's no more violent persons in terms of rhetoric in congress. is it a bunch of charlie sheen and the wolverines hung down in compton taking care of business or something what is she talking about. i don't know. >> i live in the hills kind of. >> greg: i live via hill. my driveway goes up a little bit and then it comes down. >> i think they just meant beverly hills. >> getting on an elevator doesn't count. >> we're looking at the military remember investigating the military to make too busy making
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this enough time they look in the hills to see what's going on. >> greg: what's worse training in the hills with my homies it's not happening. >> you live in the hills. >> shut up your saying too much. let's say i am involved okay let's say we are training on the hills why would we wait until after the vote we lost attack now way with me go there hasn't been an election yet well we don't care click click it doesn't make any sense but she doesn't. that's what she does in the here comment that's not fair she is know who owned it before her you don't have any ideas just fax okay my hair isn't that soft and curly the genetic thing but they
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wish we were in the hills training were not were working we don't burn down our cities we don't do that because we have to go to work the next day. we would love to have freedom on the weekends to hang out and shoot guns on the hill and just be outdoorsmen but now we have to work sorry. >> greg: i thank you dispelled it quite well. secret sign. >> it's right here. coming up columbia's jerks won't get jobs as clerks.
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or a gift card at wt.com happy mother's day from weathertech. >> a story in 5 words. >> a story in 5 words. no more columbia law clerks, i would go to you first. 13 federal judges say they will no longer higher law clerks from columbia following an explosion
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of student disruptions in anti- semitism you think that's fair to all of the columbia law school like not everybody was involved but is it safe for the judges is a just a good call in their part? >> to hate to disagree publicly with judges in case member in front of 1 someday but no i don't think it's fair also people go to columbia but also i did some research. >> greg: i told you not to do that. >> you aren't supposed to do that on the show but it's only about 5% of graduates going to clerkships after so, yeah, i don't think it's fair to say it but, yeah,. >> greg: except though been it does send a message to those i'm torn like the message being sent but at the same time but how do
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we know it's those guys were doing it. >> it's unfair and also good it's unfair to venture columbia log rats but it's very good for the columbia brand if you worked at enron you might not of been involved in the scam but you are going to be hired for you next job if you put that on your resume what they are doing is burning out their own reputation and they deserve everything that happens to them over the next couple years. >> so safe to say both you or collect correct? >> greg: i just figure to point that out. to think this is fair is been right that it's good for columbia we. >> it changes my revolution speaks for tomorrow. i was against it but they made really good points. i'm anti- grouping i hate grouping but something has to be done to columbia feel like there
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should be no federal funding to the university at all you want to make a statement to do it that way. doing research i follow kat on this 1 say the average student body about 30,000 it's less than 1% to students in the quad. they don't have enough to get their numbers up for their so-called protest they bring in actors and their own people so the school is being passed off as angry students but when actual students are pulled aside usually freshman and asked about it they can't give you an answer just we're here to stop genocide when they say i won't hire anybody from columbia that needs to be across the board but at the same time start pointing out the individuals because if you had a disclaimer the following names of these students are intelligible after we saw their
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behavior that gives more of a message i don't want to be like joe getting exposed because their hidden behind the blanket or the group see nobody will get a job. 's about 5% we point the individual terrorists out because they are terrorists you point them out will be a bigger grander affecting people say they we need more common sense. jim your current girlfriend is a freshman at columbia am i correct? she's also from the country of columbia. >> you are wrong she's still in high school did you get accepted? >> sophomore next year. she my graduate in 3 years which are be for me because and i could say she's in college now. guys are believing believing this. >> next question are you planning to be a boy scout?
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>> this makes me feel good because i finally have something in common with these graduates neither of us will be a federal law clerk for the lake of the earth saying nobody's gonna get jolly good luck i hear applebee's and olive garden are hiring. did you see the ceo who said he would hire those protesters you think he sells erection pills and his stock price plunged boy did he pull a boner. this audience. you know the guy? >> i do not know the guy growth may with him but don't know him personally. seems like somebody would advertise on podcasts.
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>> he would advertise on my podcast. >> i'm not crazy. >> in the pills work. >> greg: we need to get out of this segment. a democrat governor who shows black it's no love. g with fasen, an add-on treatment for eosinophilic asthma that is taken once every 8 weeks. fasenra is not for sudden breathing problems or other eosinophilic conditions. allergic reactions may occur. don't stop your asthma treatments without talking with your doctor. tell your doctor if your asthma worsens. headache and sore throat may occur. tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. step back out there with fasenra. ask your doctor if it's right for you.
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>> our second video of the day is a beauty. was speaking at a conference about the importance of computer education, she still had enough jaw movement to stick her foot in her mouth. role it. >> right now we have young black kids growing up in the bronx who don't even know what the word computer is, they do not know these things. she has since tried to clean up the damage by saying, ", of course i know that black kids know what computers are, that is why they keep stealing them. [ laughter ] she didn't really say that cacti risk, i better clear that up so she doesn't sue me.
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is this another example of soft bigotry of low expectations? >> this is what happens when you take the teleprompter away and the real you shows up. usually you have to get a couple shots and you. she got comfortable, we are all around friends here, she forgot about the camera guy. because let's just forget what continued on. they have never heard of the word computer. and things like that. what are those things? that's my follow-up question. what else do we know? those shiny button box things? i've got this thing in my pocket and it keeps ringing but when i pick it up it doesn't say anything to me. because lordy lord, if i can dribble and shoot it, i don't know what i'm going to do with it. [ cheering and applause ] >> greg: been, i think we could give her some consideration for hyperbole.
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but we know that she would never do that for any of us. like if we exaggerated and went over the line they would call us racists and be done with it. >> the big problem for her is that she ran out of people above her to have sex scandals so she could fail. there's no place else to go so unless joe biden somehow gets caught then she is stuck. >> if he did, it would be thanks to roman. [ laughter ] >> greg: all right cat, should kathy deflect this negative pr by perhaps killing an animal? [ laughter ] >> at least to have a friend, i guess to talk about it with. >> greg: i am with you, sister. >> after she said it she said they don't know. she said they don't know these things, which to me, if she really does believe this, my thought would be why did she not
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bring it up sooner? she thought there was a whole borough of black kids that don't know what a computer is? she should have ran on that. if you really thought that was the case. >> greg: could it be that it is her who does not know what a computer is? and that is why she -- i think young kids know more about computers than she does. may be she thinks a computer is something else. >> could be. look, maybe she did her research, i'm sure a rich white woman from buffalo hangs out in the bronx a lot and goes into black people's homes and talks to little black kids to make sure they know what a computer is. i'm sure she has done that many times. or the closer she has been to the bronx is watching a yankees game on tv. but it's funny how this woman says this, then what come all is said about black people not having a d's so they can vote. and then biden says african-americans, if you don't vote for me you are not black. but trump is a racist. trump is a racist.
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>> greg: do you remember when biden said poor kids are just as bright as white kids? >> again, you get a couple drinks in him usually and then it comes out. but this is who they are. and to be fair, she probably never saw a real black child of close before. [ laughter ] they always have the hoodies on and they are lurking. >> greg: and it's cold in buffalo so they have hoodies on. but she did like that little guy in different strokes. [ laughter ] rip gary coleman. don't go away, we will be right back.
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at oofos, we don't make footwear. we make shock absorbers. fatigue fighters. mobility maximizers. this is the science of active recovery. revolutionary oofoam technology absorbs impact and reduces pressure. it's the foundation of every pair of oofos, and the key to recovering faster. this is not a shoe. this is oofos active recovery. activate your recovery with oofos.
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>> we're out of time, thank you ben shapiro, jim florentine, our studio audience. i love you america. >> good evening, i'm traced gallagher, it's 11:00 pm on the
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east coast and

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